beds are small and foreign vitamins suck

I am never inviting more than one person to Otavalo to visit me. I hate my friends.

I invited two of the other CIDA interns to Otavalo, “Don´t worry, I have a huge bed and we can all fit.” Even though it is possible, I don´t like it! I don’t like!

On the second night they were over I was exhausted. I needed a good night sleep. At one point I hear Martha breathing really heavily—bizarrely heavily. Maybe a bad dream…whatever. The heavy breathing continued, but soon enough she added some burps. This was weird. She began tossing and turning, and after a while I gave in and proved that I was awake and that I heard her….meaning that I had a responsibility to make sure she was oka, “Martha! Are you okay?!”
“No. I don’t know whats wrong.” I tried to get her something to help her feel better and once she was a little more settled I offered to switch spots with her and sleep in the middle. Some of the deep breathing and burping continued. The tossing and turning was translated into the odd kick in the hip and elbow in the shoulder. This sucked.

As I was about to fall asleep, the same thing happened on the other side of the bed. “Sonja? Are you okay!?” Same thing happened and once she was settled I again tried to fall asleep with Martha on one side kicking and elbowing me and Sonja inching her ass into my hip and moving her face ever so close to mine. This sucked more.

The next morning they were convinced they got poisoned from the restaurant to which I brought them the night before. It was a friends restaurant and I was indirectly insulted that they would blame his restaurant. If they hadn’t been kicking me all night, I might have been on their side, but I was more in the mood to shove them off the bed than to give them sympathy.

“Your friend poisoned us!”
“It was the carrot cake. Maryam, you didn’t eat it and that’s why you didn’t get sick!”
“I have eaten the carrot cake before! And I didn’t get sick! And it is by far the cleanest restaurant in Otavalo. I swear it wasn´t his restaurant.” The argument went on and we tried to figure out what they ate.
“I need some Acidophilus,” Sonja said.



Interlude to the story and background on Sonja and pro-biotics/acidophilus:
Sonja thinks acidophilus is the answer to all ailments. She takes one a day and is always asking me if she can borrow some of mine. “Sure, I don’t even take it. I brought it just in case (Just in case, I don’t know what).”

Once we were at the doctor and the doctor was about to prescribe me something when Sonja piped in, “Can she still take acidophilus?” I gave her a look to remind her that a doctor´s prescription was more important to me than any pill she wanted to convince me was the god of all pills. The doctor just gave her a puzzled look. “Probióticos,” she said making sure that she was understood.

Sonja has even spent days in Quito looking for them. She called me up once when I was living in the forest three hours outside of Quito, “maryam, I found a store in Quito that sells acidophilus.” I didn’t know what to say. “You know, just in case you run out.” I have been in three months in Quito and I am down 6 acidophilus pills, 5 of which I have given to Sonja and the last which I decided to take for kicks.

When I make fun of her she turns to me with a sour look and begins yelling, “IT´S IMPORTANT TO REPLENISH THE BACTERIA IN YOUR STOMACH!”



…..so why were Martha and Sonja sick?
Just before we went to bed, Sonja took her new Ecuadorean acidophilus. “Hey Martha, want an acidophilus? It’s important to replenish the bacteria in your stomach.”
“Sure, thanks.”
“maryam? Want one?”
“Eff off, Sonja.”
“Whatever. Good night.”
“Good night.”
“Good night.”

The next morning…
“SONJA!! I DIDN’T GET ANY SLEEP BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO POISIN MARTHA AND YOURSELF WITH YOUR STUPID ECUADOREAN PROBIOTIC!!”
“How was I supposed to know?”
“You don´t have to know, you can just be less obsessed with acidophilus!”
“Shuttup, those bacteria are important! I´m gonna ask Rob to send me some more.”

Martha: “Why did I have to suffer too…”