Disclaimer this blog is not outwardly funny, but rather is a commentary and a call-out!
This weekend was full of festivities as the Persian New Year came in full throttle. Unfortunately, most of the traditional foods of Nowrooz contain animal products. The only things that do not are the rice (which is delicious), and the cookies (i hope....because i ate A LOT of them....and they are the size of your pinky nail...who could resist?).
This got me wondering about the last time I was vegan and i celebrated a holiday which had traditional foods. Last thanksgiving, i had already been vegan for almost four months and was in the real swing of veganism. Don’t try to sneak whey into my diet, i would catch you and... be VERY upset with you!
Anyways...
That thanksgiving we had all the regular Thanksgiving items: stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, etc. And as for the main highlight of the meal: turkey for the carnivores (everyone except for me) and tofu for the vegans (that should probably not be pluralized). And for this special occasion, I whipped out my tofu specialties: Szechuan and Teriyaki! Everyone loved the tofu and it was gone halfway through dinner. I was so happy and proud! Even when everyone could have stuffed their faces with tofu, they chose not to, and opted for the animal-product-free product. Who wouldn’t be proud?
So if everyone loves vegan food...then why don’t people love vegans? I mean, Cindy Lauper always said: “vegans just want to have fun” (i would prefer if no one commented on my abuse of quotation marks). SOOO...there should be a holiday in which vegans can have fun and eat vegan food and have it be the traditional food of that holiday.
On that note...vegans and all vegan allies unite! Let’s make a day! Let’s make a menu! And
LET’S EAT!
**Please note that this blog post is soliciting comments
Monday, March 23, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
being vegan is phat (code for ...i am being a fat vegan)
I have always been puzzled by this North American taboo of speaking about weight. My Persian family spoke very openly about weight.
Maryam, you are too skinny
Maryam, you are too fat
You need to eat less
You have a round face...its nice...but not with that extra chin!
You need to exercise more
These comments (both very direct and not-so-direct) were thrown around my family residence growing up. So having Ecuadorean people overtly comment on my weight was not a shock to the system. My friends commented on my weight. My boss commented on my weight. My colleagues at work commented on my weight. And the dude I was dating even went as far as to say “maryam, you are heavy” (direct translation). He may have meant it jokingly, but I had never heard his tone be any more serious.
I find that in many cultures—many non-North American cultures—it is not taboo to comment on someone’s weight. In Canada, however, it is! And for that reason, when a Canadian overtly comments on my weight....
John, my bake-atarian friend, picked me up for dinner today. When he showed up I was hanging out on the couch in my ever-so-forgiving sweat pants, and I naturally welcomed him to take a seat. We brainstormed restaurants that would be able to satisfy his manly craving for meat and sports, and my forgetful craving for vegan cuisine.
We decided on a sports bar and i got up to get dressed. Realizing that I had worn the exact same outfit for the entire week, i decided to get into a different pair of pants. A tighter pair of pants. A tighter pair of pants with a different belt.
“John, I gained a belt loop since I’ve been here. This sucks! All this eating out!”
John continued to be his usual insensitive self, and push me towards the door so that we could eat out. We headed to Fanatics, where I knew he would just look at the TV screens airing hockey games* and that I would be doomed if they didn’t have veggie burgers...since that was the only vegan menu item i could imagine at a sports bar
To my luck, they did have veggie burgers, or as Fanatics named them the Tree-Hugger Burger. This struck a chord....not only does it typecast all vegetarians and vegans as Tree-huggers, but anyone part of a non-beef-eating religion now falls under the tree-hugger category. Sorry folks, but the sports bar in Kingston says you are a tree-hugger. They must be right. There is no possible way that you could potentially be vegetarian or vegan for simply journalistic-type reasons. NOPE! You are definately a tree-hugger!
If being surrounded by my carnivorous friend and hockey games (which i confess now...do NOT entertain me) was not enough, he decided to order an ice-cream sundae with a brownie. Since I had not declared bake-atarianism, I would not be able to join him in his deserting delight.
The waitress asked if she should bring out two spoons.
“Just one.” John knew very well that because of my vegan month of blogging, I would not be going for any desert, but that wasn’t how he came off. Now, not only was John the rude dude who brought the girl to a sports bar and watched hockey games the entire night, he also was the rude dude who didn’t share.
The waitress brought out desert and brought two spoons. “I brought two spoons just in case she wanted to sneak in a bite or two.”
“Oh no. She won’t do that. She just realized today that she gained a belt loop.”
WOW! Now mind the sports pun...but that TOTALLY came out of left field!**
I began laughing, knowing (hoping) very well that John was kidding. The waitress, however, was not present for my previous belt-loop comment. We looked over at the waitress to see her reaction. Never have I seen a more awkward laugh come out of such a charismatic person. She gave her puzzled smile and “heh heh” and fled the scene of the crime.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH SHE FELT SO UNCOMFORTABLE IT WAS SO EFFIN HILARIOUS AHAHAHAHAHA
While the comment was made in good fun, and I wasn’t insulted....there were a few things that may have worked against John:
1. He ordered desert and made a point of asking for only one spoon (i.e. none for her)
2. He made sure that it was public knowledge that his dinner date had to tone down on the deserts.
3. He didn’t even finish the desert (i.e. there was clearly enough to share)
4. He asked for one bill at the end of the meal...and he didn’t pay it. (The conversation may have gone a little something like this “Together or separate?” “Together...and give it to her!***)
Every waitress who walked by the table gave him weird and funny looks.
“Maryam, I can never come back here now. They must think i am a huge jerk. We need to tip our waitress well.”
“You mean...i need to tip her well?”
Special notes (please read after the entire post)
*I didn’t actually think that all he would do was watch the hockey game...but he ended up watching it more than i thought he would...which still wasn’t that much
**We actually agreed beforehand that he would make some sort of belt loop comment...we wanted to see the waitress’s reaction
***The conversation didn’t go like that ...but it may have
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Vegan challege number 3: overcoming bakeatarianism
I fear that this month of (hopefully) consistent blogging will get boring. I cannot constantly write about my food choices and random culinary temptations that cross my path. While on that note, i just want to shout out to all of my faithful blog followers (hi mom) that i will make every effort to make this blog exciting and action packed...and NOT repetitive!
What does this mean? It means that i can no longer write about:
1) My confessions of breaking the meat-dairy-egg fast on products that are not predominantly meat, dairy, or egg dishes
2) Products that i have purchased and am unable, like any other good saintly vegan, to consume (honey-flavoured-delicious goat cheese...wait delicious wasn’t on the package? it was just THAT delicious)
Now, let me take the opportunity to discuss number 1. This point was in reference to me breaking my veganism by eating a slice (potentially more than slice) of chocolate cake on my friend’s birthday. I confessed my vegan-sin to my friends after it happened and they were shocked. They were both under the impression that if i were to break my veganism, i might as well do so by eating something that more un-vegan. The idea that chocolate cake isn’t that un-vegan, is rooted in the fact that while chocolate cake contains both milk and eggs as ingredients, neither are main highlight/focus of the dish. The two that had heard my confession were disappointed at my actions and advising said that if i were to break my veganism, it should be by eating steak.
But giving up steak is not necessarily difficult. Steak doesn’t creep into my life whenever it can. Cake creeps up!
When you go out with your friends, when you attend a foodshare (commonly known as potluck), when you are at some random on-campus even that serves free food—there is often a vegetarian and vegan options (veggies, humus and pita, etc.etc.) but there are very rarely vegan cakes.
There are very rarely vegan cakes, cookies, muffins, deserts....and scones!
Why do i single out scones? Because the scone brought up a very interesting conversation i had with my friend John today. John ordered a scone today, and upon noticing how large it was he suggested that I have some. I kindly declined, “sorry...the blog.” We discussed the scone refusal. An interesting thing about baked goods is that unless there is vegan in the name, it is likely NOT vegan.
So here we have it kids....Challenge No. 3: Baked goods!
While that entire discussion about my afternoon tea-and-scone date may have been effective in presenting one more challenge to veganism, i bet many of you (hi mom) are left wondering....was that the end of the conversation?
NO!
John’s suggestion was that I stop eating meat, eggs, and dairy, but that i continue eating baked goods. We coined this term: Bake-atarianism. He suggested I be a bake-atarian and then blog about it. His argument was that baked goods were just too prevalent in our society for me to give them up.
“Be a bake-atarian, and then blog about it, no?” I looked at him with my usual john-i-am-not-taking-you-seriously look.
There was a pause
“and can i blog on your blog? No?”
It was as if he never wanted the look to go away.
What does this mean? It means that i can no longer write about:
1) My confessions of breaking the meat-dairy-egg fast on products that are not predominantly meat, dairy, or egg dishes
2) Products that i have purchased and am unable, like any other good saintly vegan, to consume (honey-flavoured-delicious goat cheese...wait delicious wasn’t on the package? it was just THAT delicious)
Now, let me take the opportunity to discuss number 1. This point was in reference to me breaking my veganism by eating a slice (potentially more than slice) of chocolate cake on my friend’s birthday. I confessed my vegan-sin to my friends after it happened and they were shocked. They were both under the impression that if i were to break my veganism, i might as well do so by eating something that more un-vegan. The idea that chocolate cake isn’t that un-vegan, is rooted in the fact that while chocolate cake contains both milk and eggs as ingredients, neither are main highlight/focus of the dish. The two that had heard my confession were disappointed at my actions and advising said that if i were to break my veganism, it should be by eating steak.
But giving up steak is not necessarily difficult. Steak doesn’t creep into my life whenever it can. Cake creeps up!
When you go out with your friends, when you attend a foodshare (commonly known as potluck), when you are at some random on-campus even that serves free food—there is often a vegetarian and vegan options (veggies, humus and pita, etc.etc.) but there are very rarely vegan cakes.
There are very rarely vegan cakes, cookies, muffins, deserts....and scones!
Why do i single out scones? Because the scone brought up a very interesting conversation i had with my friend John today. John ordered a scone today, and upon noticing how large it was he suggested that I have some. I kindly declined, “sorry...the blog.” We discussed the scone refusal. An interesting thing about baked goods is that unless there is vegan in the name, it is likely NOT vegan.
So here we have it kids....Challenge No. 3: Baked goods!
While that entire discussion about my afternoon tea-and-scone date may have been effective in presenting one more challenge to veganism, i bet many of you (hi mom) are left wondering....was that the end of the conversation?
NO!
John’s suggestion was that I stop eating meat, eggs, and dairy, but that i continue eating baked goods. We coined this term: Bake-atarianism. He suggested I be a bake-atarian and then blog about it. His argument was that baked goods were just too prevalent in our society for me to give them up.
“Be a bake-atarian, and then blog about it, no?” I looked at him with my usual john-i-am-not-taking-you-seriously look.
There was a pause
“and can i blog on your blog? No?”
It was as if he never wanted the look to go away.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Vegetarian Diary...yepp
Officially the worst hippy-pot-smoking vegan ever!
Why?
First day on the vegan job and i failed miserably. So miserably!
Challenge number 2 caught me off guard...i didnt think that i would actually be tempted to even touch the goat cheese. I was. and i did! I ate the honey flavoured goat cheese. I ate it and it reminded me of a sweet cheese cake....ugh ...the last minute reminder of temptation. why would i subjugte myself to that?
maryam, you idiot.
And then came the chocolate cake. I can sooo resist chocolate cake. I dont really like chocolate cake that much. In fact, i prefer pretty much any cake to regular chocolate cake with chocolate icing. But i had already gone for some of the goat cheese, so why wouldn't i go for the cake. But after one bite, i thought to myself...why not go for the long hual...and i ate A LOT of chocolate cake.
The vegan month is now going from the 14th to the 14th.
I pledge to not eat honey flavoured goat cheese for a month.
I pledge to not eat lactose-and-ovo-filled chocolate cake for a month.
....i havent even faced the challenge of giving up fried eggs! im so screwed!
Why?
First day on the vegan job and i failed miserably. So miserably!
Challenge number 2 caught me off guard...i didnt think that i would actually be tempted to even touch the goat cheese. I was. and i did! I ate the honey flavoured goat cheese. I ate it and it reminded me of a sweet cheese cake....ugh ...the last minute reminder of temptation. why would i subjugte myself to that?
maryam, you idiot.
And then came the chocolate cake. I can sooo resist chocolate cake. I dont really like chocolate cake that much. In fact, i prefer pretty much any cake to regular chocolate cake with chocolate icing. But i had already gone for some of the goat cheese, so why wouldn't i go for the cake. But after one bite, i thought to myself...why not go for the long hual...and i ate A LOT of chocolate cake.
The vegan month is now going from the 14th to the 14th.
I pledge to not eat honey flavoured goat cheese for a month.
I pledge to not eat lactose-and-ovo-filled chocolate cake for a month.
....i havent even faced the challenge of giving up fried eggs! im so screwed!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
the vegan diaries
I think i am going to begin being vegan tomorrow, because I am currently unemployed.
What is that you say.... being unemployed should have nothing to do with your diet? Correct...being unemployed should have nothing to do with your diet; however, it has plenty to do with your frequency of blog posts.
Thus, I am re-initiating my veganism in order to have inspiration for my blog. I will blog for the next 30 days about my veganism (13th to 13th). I will not be blogging every day, nor will I blog only about veganism, but please expect random vegan anecdotes to make their way onto collecting snowmen in your freezer. Now being vegan is not a completely foreign idea for me. I was vegan for six months in 2007. That being said, even those who flirt with veganism have their weaknesses.
What are some other advantages of blogging about veganism? Well, firstly....you have something to keep you accountable to your diet. That thing would be type. When I was in Ecuador, I thought of going back to veganism when I returned to Canada. I then flirted with veganism, eating a mainly vegetarian diet. Then I flirted with vegetarianism, eating mainly a vegetarian diet sprinkled with the random meat product here and there. Sometimes that meat product would even be sausage, which would go against my muslim upbringing and introduce the pork and pig into my body...yuck! When did i think that was a good idea? Never....I feel like that is something I will not miss.
Let me take this opportunity to talk about things that I will miss.
1. Eggs (free-range, of course). If you have read recent blog posts or have lived with me since I have been back from Ecuador, you will realize that i LOVE eggs (free-range, of course). (Mind the emphasis.) (Mind the unnecessary use of brackets).
2. Honey Goat Cheese, because I bought some today. It was really good and I still have about 75% of it left.
So it seems that my main challenge is eggs; however, the REAL challenge is much simpler than that. The biggest challenge to my becoming vegan...is remembering. We will see how this goes. Everyone wish me luck!
What is that you say.... being unemployed should have nothing to do with your diet? Correct...being unemployed should have nothing to do with your diet; however, it has plenty to do with your frequency of blog posts.
Thus, I am re-initiating my veganism in order to have inspiration for my blog. I will blog for the next 30 days about my veganism (13th to 13th). I will not be blogging every day, nor will I blog only about veganism, but please expect random vegan anecdotes to make their way onto collecting snowmen in your freezer. Now being vegan is not a completely foreign idea for me. I was vegan for six months in 2007. That being said, even those who flirt with veganism have their weaknesses.
What are some other advantages of blogging about veganism? Well, firstly....you have something to keep you accountable to your diet. That thing would be type. When I was in Ecuador, I thought of going back to veganism when I returned to Canada. I then flirted with veganism, eating a mainly vegetarian diet. Then I flirted with vegetarianism, eating mainly a vegetarian diet sprinkled with the random meat product here and there. Sometimes that meat product would even be sausage, which would go against my muslim upbringing and introduce the pork and pig into my body...yuck! When did i think that was a good idea? Never....I feel like that is something I will not miss.
Let me take this opportunity to talk about things that I will miss.
1. Eggs (free-range, of course). If you have read recent blog posts or have lived with me since I have been back from Ecuador, you will realize that i LOVE eggs (free-range, of course). (Mind the emphasis.) (Mind the unnecessary use of brackets).
2. Honey Goat Cheese, because I bought some today. It was really good and I still have about 75% of it left.
So it seems that my main challenge is eggs; however, the REAL challenge is much simpler than that. The biggest challenge to my becoming vegan...is remembering. We will see how this goes. Everyone wish me luck!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
hippy party! and everyone's invited cause all you need is love!
I have always been hypersensitive to being called a hippy. There is nothing wrong with being a hippy, but being involved in the environmental movement, I was wary that I would lose all credibility if I came off as a nose-piered, scraggly haired, Birkenstock wearing white girl (only because i look white, not because I am white) who talks slow and has deep-set eyes, making her look like a pot-head. All these things never worked in my favour.
That all being said, I believe that the following scenarios exemplify the way i come off...even though I avoid it.
1. My friend Anthony grabbed my Birkenstocks and threw them out the door, saying “Get your dirty hippy shoes out of my room.”
2. The same person i previously called my friend (which I am rethinking now that I wrote scenario 1) told me that i had to watch the hippy episode of South Park with him. As we watched the episode he not only laughed histerically, but found it ever so necessary to point at me at every joke as if I emulated every anti-hippy comment.
3. I dressed up like a hippy for Halloween. No one knew I had dressed up.
4. I was talking about jobs I wanted to apply for after my contract ended with a friend. When I explained to him the job that was my top choice, he threw his hands up and said, “YAY! That is perfect for you! You can be queen hippy.” I then noticed that if I was looking to pursue a career in which i would be dubbed “Queen hippy” that I was clearly on my way towards hippy-dom.
This weekend I went to an environmental conference (PowerShift2009) to which about 12,000 youth from all over the continent gathered. It was a great way to learn about the green movement, get connected to the green movement, and be surrounded by fellow hippies...even though I may not identify as one.
This post is not about what I learned. It is also not about the environment or environmentalism (well...it is a little bit, but not a lot a bit). But rather, it is about the top indicators that you are attending a hippy conference. Thus I am prompted to move onto the meat of this post:
The top indicators that you are attending a hippy conference.
1. Hair! Hair is a hippy’s identifying feature. You will never find straight hair among new-age hippies. Long straight hair belonged to the hippy of the 60’s. The hippy of the new century will not have long straight hair. Straight hair in the new-age hippy movement will be found in messy pony-tails or dread-locks. Most hair, however, is either curly or wavy. Often it is frizzy. And there will be a high density of dread-locks.
2. Hair accessories. Bobby pins and head bands for the ladies. Trucker hats and toques which sit on top of their heads for the gents.
3. Lots of green. Colour of the environment. We love the earth...la la la laa....
4. High density of large thick-framed glasses. They are thick! And they are large. I brought a pair of fake large thick-framed glasses that I put on whenever someone starts taking photos. I was afraid to take them out of my bag.
There are also several factors that differentiate hippy conferences of the 60’s to new age hippy conferences. Those were also visible at this event.
1. Text messaging and the use of flickr. Who owns a lighter these days? A vast majority of the keynote speakers and musical guests were greeted with cell phones raised up in the air. As they gained the attention of the crowd they spewed out directions. Text message power to this number. Text message solidarity to that number. Now text message love, peace, and daisies to someone you don’t know.
2. Starbucks. This is also an indication of how many posers there were. Not that all hippies who drink Starbucks are posers...but once you reach the astronomical number of “hippies” that had Starbucks you know you are seeping into the hippy scene more than hippy dom. I was surprised at how many hippies forgot their travel mugs. Maybe this was an American thing. Because there is no Canadian hippy that dares leave the house without a travel mug. Even those who do not drink coffee find some sort of warm drink with which they can fall in love (often some herbal tisane...i don’t even know what a tisane is and the word made it into the blog, which goes to show how prevalent tisanes actually are).
While the hippy fest never really bothered me, I was caught off guard once a middle-eastern girl grabbed my hand as I was walking down a hallway trying to get to a workshop. Next thing i know I was running around in a circle, holding hands with the hippy middle-eastern girl (who had long, wavy, un-brushed hair) and some other chick who i didn’t even notice. I was too baffled that i was actually running around in a hippy circle. The middle-eastern ring leader then started chanting “When I say ‘all you need’ you say ‘love.’ ALL YOU NEED!” Everyone chanted back “LOVE”
ALL YOU NEED
LOVE
ALL YOU NEED
LOVE
ALL YOU NEED
LOVE
ALL YOU NEED
......aaaaaaaaaaaa......is A REALITY CHECK!! I ran out of the circle. I broke the chain. I didn’t know what to do. I found a girl I knew amidst the crowd of 12,000. I grabbed her and frantically asked, “I can´t do this. Give me a hair brush!”
That all being said, I believe that the following scenarios exemplify the way i come off...even though I avoid it.
1. My friend Anthony grabbed my Birkenstocks and threw them out the door, saying “Get your dirty hippy shoes out of my room.”
2. The same person i previously called my friend (which I am rethinking now that I wrote scenario 1) told me that i had to watch the hippy episode of South Park with him. As we watched the episode he not only laughed histerically, but found it ever so necessary to point at me at every joke as if I emulated every anti-hippy comment.
3. I dressed up like a hippy for Halloween. No one knew I had dressed up.
4. I was talking about jobs I wanted to apply for after my contract ended with a friend. When I explained to him the job that was my top choice, he threw his hands up and said, “YAY! That is perfect for you! You can be queen hippy.” I then noticed that if I was looking to pursue a career in which i would be dubbed “Queen hippy” that I was clearly on my way towards hippy-dom.
This weekend I went to an environmental conference (PowerShift2009) to which about 12,000 youth from all over the continent gathered. It was a great way to learn about the green movement, get connected to the green movement, and be surrounded by fellow hippies...even though I may not identify as one.
This post is not about what I learned. It is also not about the environment or environmentalism (well...it is a little bit, but not a lot a bit). But rather, it is about the top indicators that you are attending a hippy conference. Thus I am prompted to move onto the meat of this post:
The top indicators that you are attending a hippy conference.
1. Hair! Hair is a hippy’s identifying feature. You will never find straight hair among new-age hippies. Long straight hair belonged to the hippy of the 60’s. The hippy of the new century will not have long straight hair. Straight hair in the new-age hippy movement will be found in messy pony-tails or dread-locks. Most hair, however, is either curly or wavy. Often it is frizzy. And there will be a high density of dread-locks.
2. Hair accessories. Bobby pins and head bands for the ladies. Trucker hats and toques which sit on top of their heads for the gents.
3. Lots of green. Colour of the environment. We love the earth...la la la laa....
4. High density of large thick-framed glasses. They are thick! And they are large. I brought a pair of fake large thick-framed glasses that I put on whenever someone starts taking photos. I was afraid to take them out of my bag.
There are also several factors that differentiate hippy conferences of the 60’s to new age hippy conferences. Those were also visible at this event.
1. Text messaging and the use of flickr. Who owns a lighter these days? A vast majority of the keynote speakers and musical guests were greeted with cell phones raised up in the air. As they gained the attention of the crowd they spewed out directions. Text message power to this number. Text message solidarity to that number. Now text message love, peace, and daisies to someone you don’t know.
2. Starbucks. This is also an indication of how many posers there were. Not that all hippies who drink Starbucks are posers...but once you reach the astronomical number of “hippies” that had Starbucks you know you are seeping into the hippy scene more than hippy dom. I was surprised at how many hippies forgot their travel mugs. Maybe this was an American thing. Because there is no Canadian hippy that dares leave the house without a travel mug. Even those who do not drink coffee find some sort of warm drink with which they can fall in love (often some herbal tisane...i don’t even know what a tisane is and the word made it into the blog, which goes to show how prevalent tisanes actually are).
While the hippy fest never really bothered me, I was caught off guard once a middle-eastern girl grabbed my hand as I was walking down a hallway trying to get to a workshop. Next thing i know I was running around in a circle, holding hands with the hippy middle-eastern girl (who had long, wavy, un-brushed hair) and some other chick who i didn’t even notice. I was too baffled that i was actually running around in a hippy circle. The middle-eastern ring leader then started chanting “When I say ‘all you need’ you say ‘love.’ ALL YOU NEED!” Everyone chanted back “LOVE”
ALL YOU NEED
LOVE
ALL YOU NEED
LOVE
ALL YOU NEED
LOVE
ALL YOU NEED
......aaaaaaaaaaaa......is A REALITY CHECK!! I ran out of the circle. I broke the chain. I didn’t know what to do. I found a girl I knew amidst the crowd of 12,000. I grabbed her and frantically asked, “I can´t do this. Give me a hair brush!”
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