My first book review (i feel like that expression should go on a mug)

I have written a book review before, but never have I done so voluntarily. And now, I have the desire to not only write a book review, but to do so when i have not even reached the half-way page.

So for my first book review, i have decided to review the book Stuff White People Like by Christian Lander.

Points to point out before I review:

I would like to point out the whiteness of the author’s name. The author is clearly a white person. This would probably make him the most appropriate person to write such a book. Most writers are inspired and influenced by their upbringing and their surroundings. This white person would clearly be a great candidate for writing this book because he himself is white.

I would also like to draw attention to the fact that I like many of the things that white people (apparently) like. This makes me white. Even though i am not white? Even though Lander deems me as “white”, after reading this book (or less than half of it) I am still middle eastern. This has several implications on my life: 1) my comfort food is still an Iranian dish that none of my friends can pronounce and that i cannot spell, and 2) i will still get pulled over at the Canada-US border and searched for...weapons of mass destruction?

Book Review: Lander writes about 150 things that white people like and why they like them. There are also many tips as to how to make white people like you more.

Most creative items on his list:

Number 2: Religions their parents don’t belong to. -> When i read this i remembered that i only have one friend who is a Buddhist. He is white and his parents are not Buddhists.

Number 11: Asian girls. -> I’m Asian! Where do you all think Iran is?

Number 16: Gifted children. -> Lander states that white people love gifted children because “100 percent of their kids are gifted.” This is SO true. I feel like everyone i met in university was in some sort of “gifted stream” unless they went to private school. I contrast this to my parents. My parents never thought my brother and i were gifted. I think they thought we were pretty average. Whenever we told them of an achievement of ours, they brushed it off. I was never sure if that was because they did not understand the extent of our achievement or if it was because they were trying to push us back down to average before anyone noticed.

Number 29: 80s night -> THEME PARTIES!

Number 65: Coed sports. -> Lander advises people to blend in with their surroundings (i.e. be as good as the sport as the white people around you). He says that “If you try to hard (bowling over a female catcher, throwing a kickball extra hard at someone), you come off as a crazy maniac.” This is true. I can say from experience. I was playing on a coed softball team and the short stop ran all the way into right field to catch the ball. I was right field and i almost caught it until i was—you guessed it—bowled over by the crazy maniac.

Neither of us caught it. I had a bruise on my left shoulder too. Jackass!

Lander also claims that coed sports are a great way to find a date. I definitely did not get a date, and the closest person i got to in softball was the guy who ran me over. Maybe it was my fault i didn’t get a date...i mean, giving someone the evil eye isn’t much of a first impression.