people suck...generally....

I have always wanted to blog about my life in retail. I don’t know how to organize it, so now i am just gonna rant. Have fun!

people are:
1. weird,
2. douche bags
3. not funny, and
4. want to be unique
You are reminded of this every day you work in retail.

I never understand why they think that my being attached to a cash register automatically puts me in the roll of that person who will:
1. Entertain them
2. Listen to their offensive crap
3. Laugh at their awful jokes, and
4. Ooo and aaahhh at everything they say

Weird:
“Hi, are you going to be mad at me like the other girl?”
“Huh?”
“Last time I was here, the girl got mad at me.”
“Okay.”

Let’s analyze the situation and why this conversation is so unbelievably stupid. In fact, I actually think several seconds of my life went by and I am not going to get them back. This situation is so stupid because I have absolutely no idea what he is talking about, who he is talking about, and if he is trying to entertain people and crack a smile out of complete strangers with a line like this, he really needs to re-evaluate.

Douche bag:
“Cold?”
“no, why?”
“your hat? Why are you wearing a hat.”
“Oh..i haven’t showered in a couple of days.”
“What? Are you some sort of hippie?”

Now let’s analyze this situation:
I say “Yes, I am a hippy,” and i glare at him. He feels awkward and i continue to be grumpy.
He says, “No,” and i glare at him. He feels awkward and I continue to be grumpy.

Both situations end with my feeling grumpy. This dude is a jerk.
If he doesn’t feel awkward, then he is a bigger jerk.

Not funny:
“Oh, you cannot scan the item? It’s free!”
There are so many reasons that this is not funny. Mainly because i hear this every day, and also because the reason is not scanning is that this moron decided to pick the ONLY one without a tag. Thanks! You know that i am not just going to give you the item! If you rip a tag off a t-shirt it is not free! When you rip a sticker off an apple, it is not free! Your joke sucks!
Want to be unique:
“So, I am going to Mount Kilimanjaro......” (Pause where they expect you to ooo and aahhh...)
silence
“and i need a blah blah blah excessive unnecessary item that i really DONT need but am using my trip to Kilimanjaro to say that i need blah blah blah”
“Okay...well, i don’t know exactly which one would be the best for you because i have never been to Mount Kilimanjaro, but if you want to ask someone who may care you should ask those 10 people over there because they are also going."

You know what would make you unique? If you offered me oatmeal raisin chocolate chip cookies....MY FAVOURITE! THANKS! Going to Mount Kilimanjaro does not make you unique. It is like going to lingerie store and saying you are looking for something "sexy for your boyfriend." What does someone say..."oooo...boyfriend..."

get over yourself