algunas personas hacen huevadas = some ppl are do effed up shtuff...

Martha wrote in her blog “That was so dangerous. I am never doing that again.” I don’t know why she originally thought it would be a good idea to drive a four-wheeler on the highway, but I also don’t know why she thought it would be a good idea to do it again.

Driving four-wheelers on the highway is fun.  And it is easy.

To turn on: turn the key and press a button
To turn on the light: Turn the key again
To accelerate: Press a button
To break: there are multiple different ways…and I know them all.
Easy 

I was driving, and Martha was in the back. We both wore helmets, of course. We aren’t idiots!

“maryam, we are going through a tunnel. Turn on the light.”
“Yah yah.” I turned the key seconds before we entered the tunnel and I looked down and the light wasn’t on.
“Turn on the light, maryam!”
“I turned it on.” I started panicking because there was no light in the tunnel. “What’s going on?”
“Maryam!! You are slowing down!! Go Go Go!! The tunnel isn’t too big, you can see the light. So accelerate at least!!”
“I am trying. It’s not accelerating.”

The four-wheeler slowed down to a stop. I tried to fiddle with all of the buttons and the keys but I couldn’t see anything in the tunnel.

HONK! HONK!

“A BUS!!” Martha and I jumped off the four-wheeler. “Maryam, I’ll get the bus to stop. Move the four-wheeler to the side.”

Realistically, moving it to the side would not have saved it because the tunnel was only wide enough for a bus and the profile of two 22-year-old bimbos.

“Its not moving!” I yelled.

HONK HONK!!

“EFF! Don’t honk!! We know you are there.” I yelled partly to myself, partly to Martha, and partly to the bus driver who couldn’t even here me or the sarcasm in my tone. I continued to fiddle with all of the buttons and the key, not understanding how a tunnel could get so dark.

I took off my sunglasses  and continued to fiddle around with all of the buttons.

Martha successfully got the bus to slow down and a sixteen year old jumped off and started to push the four-wheeler.

As he pushed, Martha pounced on the four-wheeler. “Maryam, get on the back! I am driving.” With the combination of the sixteen-year old pushing the four-wheeler and Martha’s knowledge of how to drive the four-wheeler, we got moving. The bus trailed behind us in the tunnel and passed us once we got out.

“Maryam! That’s why I said I was never gonna do this ever again.”
“Why? You got stuck in a tunnel last time?”
“NO! Because I know you are an idiot and would turn the four-wheeler OFF as opposed to turning the light ON!”

…that didn’t really answer my question.

We continued driving our four-wheeler on the highway and passed a go-cart driving in the opposite direction.

“Hey Martha, have you ever driven a go-cart?”
“I am never gonna do this again!”

“Cierto….”